Experts on polar wildlife are baffled by a bizarre phenomenon localized to Union College’s campus in Schenectady, NY: what they believe to be the tracks of penguins, despite the campus being thousands of miles away from the habitat of the flightless aquatic birds.
“The tracks across Union’s cam-pus are unmistakeable,” says one noted penguin scientist. “Penguins have a distinct manner of walking, with their flippers out to their side, their legs bent, and a side-to-side shuffle, allowing their center of gravity to remain low in order to traverse slippery, icy surfaces. The tracks our team has observed on Union’s campus are identical in this shuffling pattern.”
Experts believe that extreme weather conditions in Upstate New York and changing global climates may be responsible for the birds’ presence on the Schenectady campus, although many questions remain.
“These tracks are completely enigmatic,” said one Union biology professor collaborating with the polar wildlife researchers. “Despite the unmistakeable nature of the tracks, we haven’t been able to spot a single penguin, and strangely, the tracks are entirely localized to the Union campus.”
Even more bizarrely, the initial appearance of the tracks coincided exactly with the release of a yearly email offering students penguin-inspired advice on walking in icy and snowy conditions.
However, experts maintain that the two events are unrelated: “Penguins’ distinct shuffling gait is unmistakeable. They’re uniquely adapted to walk in icy climates without slipping or falling. We’re highly skeptical that students would be able to mimic these tracks so closely.”
The scientists believe that the penguins may be traveling only at night, explaining their current inability to spot one of the elusive birds; they have asked the Union community to help with their research. “If you happen upon a penguin, don’t be alarmed: they pose little danger to humans, but are easily startled. Make sure to record your sighting and let us know.”