Mandy Browne, 25-year old from Massachusetts, came to Union last week in posting MISSING signs across campus in search of her sister, Melissa Browne ’20.

Although active on campus, Melissa allegedly last was in contact with her sister just after her sorority “big little” reveal. “She told me she was ‘desistering me’ after I commented that her little was nice. Apparently she was looking for me to say she was ‘amazing beautiful perfection’ but I’d only met her once?” claimed Mandy. Sources report the sorority girls had had only met twice before cementing the bond with an estimated $250 gift basket of snacks purchased with declining and pseudo-punny canvases.

In an instant, Mandy alleged a dramatic shift in Melissa’s behavior almost overnight. The two became inseparable. What started out with innocent shoutouts to one another on social media stories and posts took a turn. The pair began merging into the same person.

From coordinating outfits and choosing similar hairstyles, the similarities turned into a slippery slope when the girls changed their majors to match and take the same courses to maximize the amount of time together. The Junior refuses to be acknowledged by anyone other than her little, Sarah Kaufmann (who exclusively addresses Melissa with affectionate pet names such as “biggie” and “the love of my life”) as “Sarah’s mom.” Her grades have also not been left unscathed by this shift. Lepore’s professors state that they are unable to grade her exams and papers as they are penned under the name, “Sarah Kaufmann’s mom.”

Although Melissa has not been available to comment, Sarah Kaufmann has been very vocal on the matter. Students note Kaufman will sporadically yell in general directions, “I love my big she’s everything!” In fact, her now former roommate Jessica Sampson has been forced to relocate due to Kaufman’s dedication to her message throughout the night. “Her cries would constantly wake me up. No strength of earplugs seemed to work… I thought I was at my wits end.”

“This is not who my sister is, I just want to bring her back home and find herself again,” stated Mandy Lepore. “She’s never been anywhere close to treating me like that, and I literally taught her how to look skinny in her instagram photos, like she can’t just ignore me. Where is the respect?”