Disclaimer: the articles within this section (pages 10 – 11) are satirical, and meant to be a humorous and exaggerated expression of perspectives of campus culture for entertainment purposes. These articles are not necessarily intended to reflect the truth, offend readers or stoke controversy.

As any other study abroad student will tell you (and boy, will they tell you), coming back after a term away from Union can be a great adjustment. To help you get back into the swing of things, we at the Concordiensis have made a guide to get back in the groove of the 518!

1. Don’t. Those past 10 weeks have changed your life forever and gosh darnit, the world needs to know. The amount of culture you have experienced from being around other American students is like no other. If you’re worried you’ll forget to bring it up, it could be helpful to set reminders on your phone just in case.

2. Complain about the food even more than usual, even if you desperately tried to search for American restaurants and comfort foods while abroad. The food was just so much better that you can’t help it! After all, that McDonald’s in Germany you visited that one time really was like no other. It even had beer!

3. How’s that jetlag? If you’ve been in the U.S. since late December, purposely mess up your sleep schedule so you can tell everyone about how tired you are from flying all the way from “XYZ” where you just studied abroad from. Sure, you can use your free wide-awake nights to do work, but it would be better to use to message people and post about studying abroad.

4. Speaking of posting, in this digital age, self-promoting is what it’s all about. Post as many photos of your study abroad on your social media to show everyone how much fun you had three months ago while you’re locked up in your cold dorm room that hasn’t changed since the 1960’s, at best. Just because you’re miserable now doesn’t mean you were miserable then! You’ve got those fond memories to keep you warm.

5. Did you just remember your other non-study abroad group friends at Union? Feeling stressed from how to balance time with these two circles? Scrap both friend groups and find another to retell all your stories to again. Once you’ve exhausted this option, repeat and keep repeating!

Bonus tip: Pick up an accent. Not only is it a subtle constant reminder that you lived overseas, but it’s super fun! If accents aren’t your thing, unironically wearing a beret could suffice.