“Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learned from my long-term friendships with women,” said Dolly Alderton in her memoir, discussing love and friendship and how they intertwine. Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and we see its promotion everywhere; through advertising and social media, it’s always shoved in our faces. However, for many, Valentine’s Day brings feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. I know many people who despise the holiday because they don’t have a significant other. Yet, in my opinion, Valentine’s Day is simply about love in general, not just romance.
Science says that platonic relationships are crucial for our psychological well-being, and I know, for me, this proves to be true. It’s a crime that our society holds romantic relationships above platonic ones when they’re both equally important. We need to prioritize our platonic relationships and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with our friends! Being a “low-maintenance” friend is a thing of the past (yes, this also applies to me!). To clarify, a “low-maintenance” friend is a friend who barely answers your texts, doesn’t reach out first, and just doesn’t put enough effort into the relationship. We all deserve friends who express their care and gratitude for you unconditionally.
Platonic love and romantic love can feel similar because the expressions of vulnerability in both evoke nearly identical emotions. If we were all putting full effort into our friendships and that effort was being reciprocated, then we all would be satisfied. In my opinion, platonic love is superior to romantic—what is love without friendship? We need friendship! We make friends through shared interests and experiences, and although romantic relationships are as well, they tend to be more confusing, more stressful, and murkier, often involving a facade of rose-tinted glasses. Platonic love is beautiful, and unlike romantic love, physical attraction isn’t a critically important variable.
I hope I don’t come off as a love-hater when it comes to romance because I do love love; yet, I think it’s crucial that platonic love be seen as equally important. That’s why I’ve absolutely loved seeing the recent rise in ‘Galentine’ Day events! Contrary to traditional Valentine’s Day traditions, Galentine’s Day focuses on celebrating love among friends and uplifting these platonic relationships. They’ve been my favorite thing to see on my Instagram feed, and all those involved have been looking so cute! Many women are throwing these parties before Valentine’s Day, but I love the idea of gearing the day towards celebrating the women and friends in our lives. I want us to treat Valentine’s Day similarly to Galentine’s Day, but perhaps be more gender-inclusive with our celebrations. I want us to begin to celebrate and treat everyone in our lives that we love!
Every Valentine’s Day growing up, my mom bought me and my sisters a valentine, and she would always make it a point to get each of us gifts for the occasion. Excited by the holiday, I would get dressed up in fancy clothes for school that day (it’s a plus that my favorite colors are red and pink). I’ve always loved the way I was introduced to Valentine’s Day because I never associated it with romantic love. Unfortunately, since then, society and the media have portrayed this day quite differently and have made it solely about romantic love. In an effort to transform the holiday into one truly about friendship, it’s our responsibility to change this narrative.
In addition, since this day is about love, we need to discuss self-love! What are you doing for yourself on Valentine’s Day? I recommend eating some chocolate and getting some friends together to watch films or go out! Perhaps dedicate this day to yourself and go on a solo-date; we can’t fully love another person in a healthy way if we don’t show care and love for ourselves first.
To conclude, I hope my take on this day influences the way you think about Valentine’s Day. I want all of you to know that your worth on Valentine’s Day is not based on whether you’re in a romantic relationship. This day is about love, romantic and otherwise, and I hope on this Valentine’s Day, you receive and express love and gratitude in various ways!
