Having difficulty concentrating during midterm season? Thankfully, studying is no longer the only tactic you can ignore!

A new study conducted by Dr. Whocares in a totally legitimate journal found that college students can increase their productivity levels up to 68% with each sticker placed on your laptop.

By displaying one’s interest in via stickers received with clothing purchases, sororities (actual affiliation not required for productivity to take effect), hometown pride and an occasional vine reference to show people you’re funny and “with it,” one is able to highlight how often they use their computer to presumably study.

Thus, the “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” phenomenon takes effect. The use of stickers also helps to attract peers within the vicinity to engage in conversation and enable a multifaceted approach to assignment completion.

One can justify lack of progress with collective procrastination and also increase paper-writing effectiveness through complaining.

Super senior Chad McBrad was able to uncover another unforeseen benefit.

“For years I’ve had issues with staying on task, until I heard about this study. I bought a pack of 50 stickers to put on my laptop and now I don’t even worry if I am writing enough for essays because I can’t even see my screen anymore!”

McBrad intends to write an academic response to contribute to Dr. Whochares findings, claiming he’ll “do it tomorrow.”

Starting next week, class deans and the Office of Academic Affairs will have baskets of stickers on hand to inspire scholastic efficiency in its student body. Union College anticipates campus-wide success noting if students are determined enough to find offices in the first place, they are well-equipped to tackle the tasks they have at hand.

The baskets intend to contain stickers from the the top (and only) five clothing companies students purchase from such as The Black Dog and Vinyard Vines. They will also contain stickers from Altria, Gamma Delta Iota and notably Union College so you can let students you already see five times a day know that you study there too. That’s enough studying to count right?

In spite of this report’s success, it should be noted that this tactic is optimized for Macbooks. If you are one of the three other Union College students with the other one (possibly PC?), please remember that it is no longer 2004. In case of emergency, these students qualify for a Wicker Wellness appointment and one Apple sticker to “ironically” put on their laptop until a Macbook can be obtained.