Satirical recipe of the week: Tom Brady’s Super Bowl of avacado ice cream

Zachary Nislick, Columnist

Ingredients:

– 4 TB12 Organic Avocados grown in Tom Brady’s Boston suburban home

– 6 Ice cubes, roughly the size of Tom Brady’s 6 super bowl rings

– Cream as heavy as the chip that sits on Tom Brady’s shoulder

– 1 grain of sugar

66% Dark Cacao powder (Tom Brady’s Super Bowl winning percentage)

Directions:

To continue the avocado recipe series started last week with my guacamole, this week I present one of the few desserts that the all time great quarterback Tom Brady allows himself to eat, avocado ice cream.

I tried avocado ice cream for the first time a few weeks ago, and a couple of things surprised me. First of all, it tasted really, really bad, so this might be a hard sell for some of you who enjoy good ‘ol fashioned ice cream.

Second, despite what you might expect avocado ice cream to look like, it has an appealing chocolate-like color. But once you get over the deceiving color and disturbing taste, you can enjoy this wonderful treat knowing it’s scarcely eaten by the now 6-time super bowl champion Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr.

To start, mash up your avocados mixed with heavy cream and cacao powder. Once whipped to a nice frothy consistency, grab your tweezers and select a single grain of sugar from your counter and place gently on top of the pre-frozen cream.

Next, using your super-bowl-ring-sized ice cubes, slowly mix the cream in a metal bowl over the ice until thick enough. If done correctly, this should look much more appetizing than it tastes, but it will surely increase your chances of becoming a Super Bowl champion.