On New Years Day, Noiseferatu, otherwise known as Union alumnus AJ Hubbard ’18, alongside guests both living and dead, dropped his first full-length album titled, You must get discouraged! The Pepto Bismol-colored cover art sets the scene for Hubbard’s skillfully crafted confessional essay about dreams, contentment and the role of happiness in achieving these aspirations. The confessional essay frames a picture of Linus van Pelt, the infantile, comfort-seeking, best friend of Charlie Brown, presumably writing the essay backdrop. This image sets up the narrative of the thirty-eight minute album: thirteen tracks dripping with nostalgia, melancholy, reflection and love. An advisory notice to all listeners: you will need a good hug and a hardy cry post listen.

The first track, “we’ll always love you” samples the youthful choir-like voices from the song “Hammond Song” by The Roches. This encouraging choice reminds the listener to keep going, to keep listening, because whatever feelings the sequential songs provoke, someone out there loves you, romantic or not. “Favors / errors” is an inviting track that begins with a falsetto full of tentative yearning. This high-pitched voice proceeds to have a conversation with an acoustic guitar about the singer’s ‘error’ in asking for the ‘favor’ of reciprocated love. The discussion comes to a confusing resolution in the final thirty seconds of the song with the introduction of smashing drums, a solid bass line and a juxtaposant electric guitar. “The hospital song” that follows is brief, but packed with promises of “ass-kissing” and pleasing others if that’s what’s needed by those mourning around him.

This sacrificial theme works well to introduce the following song “lapsedcatholicbreakupsex” which is one of my personal favorites, but could be anyone’s for the title alone. This sad indie melody opens with soft acoustic plucks and continues alongside Hubbard’s soothing vocal entrance. The soft acoustic guitar pairs well with the described sadness one experiences post-breakup, but takes a bold lyrical dive into the despair that occurs when ones’ sense of self is warped. This moment occurs at 3:30 when the track becomes silent momentarily before a guitar riff guides us back into a faster ballad.

The middle portion of the album include Noiseferatu’s most played song, “Quietstorm (feat. Smokey Robinson),” along with “shortlist,” “worst impulse,” “sleepingatyourhouse II” and “flora / pomona.” Hubbard utilizes a full range of volumes, allowing the rollercoaster of emotions and layers of production to breathe. “Flora / pamona” is beautifully gloomy, and the chorus is a moment of realization: “if I could love myself I could love you alright / and I could sneak over late past midnight.”

These sentiments of self love and regret frame the concluding songs of the album. “Rollerkingdom” opens with a layered guitar section for almost a minute before the vocals enter. Hubbard builds what he thought love was, and what it became.

The guitar soon builds us up to the final line: “wish I’d never fell, never fallen” reveal regret for the love at all. The following track “frootloop” yanks Hubbard’s beautiful yet timid tone of voice out of the shadows cast by layers of production and pitched vocals. It is a shame these stripped moments are not more frequent on such a vulnerable album.

The closing song, a cover of Belle and Sebastian’s “Boy Done Wrong Again,” is pitched up, with lyrics expressing a yearning to fix past mistakes and to one day create the “saddest song.”

Personally I think Hubbard may have accomplished this somewhere on this album, but I agree with a line of the now-fully-revealed personal essay in the final, differing piece of cover art for the final song: “many people who are satisfied with themselves still look to achieve further.” We’ll just have to wait in anticipation until the day we get the “saddest song” and much more from AJ Hubbard.