Looking for new ways to keep Springfest fresh to satisfy the ever changing music tastes of its students, Union allegedly reached out to one of music’s first composers Amadeus Mozart to star in this year’s show. Committee members were excited to finally reach out to a big name in the industry, particularly one whose popularity has lasted the test of time. “We usually approach artists that reached the height of their careers at least 11 years prior to the concert,” stated leading committee member Drake Samson, “but we wanted to go the extra mile this time and sign someone way older…like super old. We’ve seen a positive reaction to this traditional contracting method because we assume our students enjoy the oldies so much, so we thought ‘hey how far back can we go?’”

Amadeus was a perfect candidate with that earnestly recognizable wig and not to mention he’s been modeled in more paintings than any other music artist of all time making him unique to Union’s usual set list. Unfortunately after further investigation, Amadeus was too busy already decomposing in his grave.